Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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