It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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