If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
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i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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