Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
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Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
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I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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