He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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