in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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