I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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