I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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