just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize