At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize