Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize