Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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