screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize