What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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