Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
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I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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