She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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