oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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