sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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