I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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