even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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