Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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