why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
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His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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