I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
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I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
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My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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