Who wears a wallet chain?!
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
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I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
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I wish drunk me came with subtitles
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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