Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
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