New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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