remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
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Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
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Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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