drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
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He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
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Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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