Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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