Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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