Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
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we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
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I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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