nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize