We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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