Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize