his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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