You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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