They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
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