Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
...so i touched it.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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