the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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