And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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