It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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