Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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