part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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