she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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