I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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