He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize