Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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