she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
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The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
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Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize