Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
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Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
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You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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