after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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